A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Another one

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to buy lottery tickets instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't gamble" the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on fish bait instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't fished in 20 years!"
"Will you use the money to buy a ticket to the Chiefs game?" the man asked.
"Are you crazy?" the homeless man replied. "I wouldn't pay to see folks beat upon other folks. I have seen enough of that on the streets."
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the two dollars.
Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied, "Hey, man, that's okay! I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, ball games, gambling, and fishing."
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