--JOKES AND QUOTES OF THE MONTH of April

Sayings
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you can keep your head, while all around you are losing theirs--then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.

The years have been kind to us, but gravity isn't doing us any favours

You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving.

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Medicine

Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did. The bottle said "Keep tightly closed."

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Opting Out

Dear Pastor:

There are 566 members in our church, but 100 are frail and elderly.
That leaves 466 to do all the work.

However, 80 are young people away at college. That leaves 386 to do all the work.

However, 150 of them are tired businessmen, so that leaves 236 to do all the work.

150 are housewives with children. That leaves 86 to do all the work.

There are also 46 members who have other important interests. Which leaves 40 to do all the work, but 15 live too far away to come regularly. So that leaves 25 to do all the work.

And 23 of them say they've done their part. So, Pastor, that leaves YOU and ME and, frankly, I'm exhausted.

Good luck to you.

A. Parishioner



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