Subject:  Dad at the Mall

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84).

We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a
 teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different
 colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

 Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his
 response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not
 bat an eye in his response.

"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.  I was just wondering if you were my son."