Sue & Steve sent to us this lot:

With news designed to make us feel totally unstable, we need a good laugh...

FIRST THE BEST ONE>>>

Two blond girls were working for the city public works department. One
would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole
in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then
moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one
girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what
they were doing. So he asked the hole-digger, 'I'm impressed by the
effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it - why do
you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up
again?'

The hole-digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the
girl who plants the trees called in sick.'

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other,

'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'

The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
?????'


CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if
he
could see her license.

She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
show
it to you !'

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another
blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to
the
other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back,

'You ARE on the other side.'


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
touched
made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?

'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'


KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
'PULL
OVER!'

'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'


BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the
Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
night!'

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled
the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you
are
in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
was
named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of
someone naming dogs like that?'

'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'

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